In the wake of my daughters passing, the world I knew became a foreign landscape. Amidst the pain, I noticed a chasm growing between me and those I once felt close to. People around me  discussed mundane things – office politics, weekend plans, weather, latest TV shows – to me, these conversations seemed trivial, pointless, almost alien.

Grief had reshaped my perspective, making it hard to relate to those everyday concerns.

The Weight of Presence

My presence in social settings felt like a dark cloud overshadowing the lightness of their everyday lives. It was as if I spoke a different language, one laced with sorrow and loss, unintelligible to those around me. I didn’t want to bring everyone else down, I didn’t want “to rain on anyone’s parade”. Yet, the pressure I put on myself, of having to act ‘normal’ was exhausting. I didn’t even know what normal was anymore. There were times I’d smile and nod, but inside, I felt like screaming, desperate to escape the charade and return to my solitude where I didn’t need to pretend.

Then there was the tremendous guilt. If I smiled and pretended to be “fine”, would people think I really was ok? 

The thought that I wasn’t grieving, that people would think I was “over the loss” was too much to bear.

A Silent Understanding

However, amidst this disconnection, I discovered a new world of connection. I started attending a support group, and then group coaching, initially VERRY skeptical. There, I found others who had walked paths similar to mine. It was an unspoken bond, a mutual understanding that transcended words. We didn’t need to explain our pain or justify our feelings. Our shared experiences formed a foundation for a unique kind of friendship, one built on empathy and shared understanding.

Glimpses of Hope in Shared Silences

It’s in these new connections that I rediscovered a sense of hope. Each story I heard was different, but the core emotions resonated deeply. In their eyes, I saw my reflection - a mix of sorrow, resilience, and a flicker of hope. These relationships, though born of tragedy, became a source of strength. Our shared silences often spoke louder than any conversation, conveying understanding, compassion, and the unspoken promise that we weren’t alone in our journeys.

The ‘Secret Club’ of Grief

As I navigated my life post-loss, I found myself drawn to those who had experienced similar losses. There was an immediate kinship, an unspoken acknowledgment of the depths we had each delved into. We didn’t need grand gestures or lengthy conversations. A simple nod across a room at a gathering, an understanding glance – these small acknowledgments became lifelines, affirming that my feelings were valid and understood. Gradually, I learned to live again. 

Love, Freedom, Contribution, and Integrity

In these connections, my core values – love, freedom, contribution, and integrity – found new expressions. As I embraced my purpose and passion for service, I realized my true mission: guiding others in grief, to build joyful, fulfilling lives beyond their loss.

This journey isn’t about leaving grief behind, but incorporating it into a new narrative, free from guilt! It’s about reestablishing meaningful connections with the world, finding richness in every interaction, and turning pain into purpose. My goal is to be a beacon of hope and guidance, transforming the heavy cloak of grief into wings of freedom and joy.

Reaching Out and Holding On

The journey through grief is unique for each of us. For those feeling disconnected, know that it’s okay to reach out for support in places where you feel understood. Embrace the new connections that resonate with your soul. And remember, it’s about finding a balance between honoring your lost loved ones and giving yourself permission to find joy and connection in the present.

Life after loss is about transformation – not just of the self but of relationships. It’s about navigating the unfamiliar waters of grief and discovering new shores of connection and understanding. Let these connections be your guiding stars as you find your way through the labyrinth of grief.

As we journey together through the landscapes of grief and disconnection, remember you are not alone. If you’re seeking a community that understands, a place where your feelings are acknowledged and your journey towards healing is supported, I invite you to join my Group Coaching Program. It’s a safe space where we transform our shared challenges into strength, find joy in the journey, and reconnect with the world around us. You don’t have to navigate this path alone. Join us, and let’s embark on this healing journey together. 

To learn more, simply send me message or book a no pressure call